Smiling through chaos featured in brides magazine

Smiling Through Chaos’ Amanda Hudes was recently featured in Brides Magazine on the oh-so-timely topic of wedding shaming, and how to deal with it. Amanda is well-suited to help brides and grooms manage stressful wedding situations - she’s the author of Amazon Bestseller, “Smiling Through The Chaos of Wedding Planning,” a guide to helping people smile through the process of planning their big day.

“This type of shaming, especially, is akin to talking behind someone’s back in high school, notes Amanda Hudes, event planner, life coach, and author of Smiling Through the Chaos of Wedding Planning. “Shaming comes from a place of insecurity and almost never about the person who is being shamed, but rather the person shaming,” she says.

Amanda also talked about COVID-specific wedding shaming:

Now that certain states are requiring negative COVID tests before guests are allowed into the wedding, shaming has taken an entirely new form. “People are starting to wedding shame couples who refuse to pay for their guests to be tested, which can put everyone in an awkward position,” says Hudes. 

Amanda suggests directly addressing the person who shamed your wedding or tried to make you feel bad about your choices.

If you experience wedding shaming from someone you know, you should absolutely talk to them ASAP—especially if it is a close family member or friend. “Explain how you feel and what specifically is hurtful about their actions or words, and ask them what made them feel okay talking about you or your wedding like that,” suggests Hudes. “Tell them that you want them to know they can talk to you about something that is bothering them instead of going to others and then move on from the incident knowing it will only help you grow stronger.”

She also gives advice on how to address it on social media:

If you’re getting heat from people via social media, whether you know them or not, Hudes suggests writing a non-confrontational response stating that you, your family member, or your friend has been quite hurt by this public mockery and that you hope that they can take that into consideration when posting any other comments. “You could also find out what website or group posted it and figure out a way to get it removed for slander or harassment by that social media platform,” she adds.

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